The blood is still dripping

The things that you say
i know they're all true
i laugh, to hide my embarrassment
i agree, to shake off the pain
and than walk away, no dignity left

It shouldn't get to me,
i know it shouldn't
but all i think about
is the pain you left me

I hear you're voice,
always in my head
"fat, ugly, worthless...Lucy...EEW"
just a cut, to drown it out
to get rid of your voice
but it doesn't work
i haven't cut it deep enough

i cut it over and over again,
with blood dripping from my wrists
I'm screaming and shouting
music so loud to hide my shame

wrists running a river of crimson
eyes crying an ocean
never to be found
i know what you say
and your right,
why should I care?
because as you say
i have no emotions,
making me a non human

your voice
it cuts me so deep
because i hear it all the time
every time i see you

your so nice to every one else
it makes me sad to know
that the nicest thing you have ever said to me is that you will look after me
but that was followed by
"because you're too fat to fend for yourself

I can't believe I'm still alive
with scarred wrists to prove I'm human
and a heart to prove I have emotions
I'm nice to every one I meet
because I know how its feels
to be hurt
to feel alone
and ever day ashamed of who you really are
i don't want anyone else to endure this pain

cutting my wrists to fix my heart
taking in insult
because now i know i deserve them
cutting myself to prove I'm human
just trying to focus my pain
and fix my life
which soon, i will end!

(C) Lucy Green

thanks for reading my poem, and thank you everyone for commenting on my other poems it means heaps to me, thank you!!!