Xx CoNfUsInG ThOuGhTs xX

I sit here on this chair
the clock is quickly ticking by
Rejected by another guy

why would you want to live
if you were in my shoes
you'd get that knife...and quick
and try to relieve this depression

the depression from my inner soul
my heart and my spirit
can't go through this without understanding, but i don't know what i'm supposed to understand

it doesn't make sence anymore
but than again. did it ever?
trying so hard to forget this pain
cutting my wrist once, maybe twice
three times and thats it!!!

but now i can't help it, what else can I do???
QUICK, someone, get me the knife, i need to fix this addiction that just doesn't end!!

all my life i wanted to just once, feel like i'm normal
proving my doctors wrong, BI-POLAR DEPRESSION...that can't be possible,

days go on and i grow weak
don't want to look at anyone
can't stand the mirror,
always looking right at me

friends i thought i had
were never really there
i have so many friends
and yet still feel so alone
get left out at parties like the reject i really am
and really all want
is just a helping hand

i don't want your money, sympathy or wealth
but please kind sir, could you tell me...why i just can't be loved
i can't be held or hugged or kissed
will this nightmare ever end???

(C) Lucy Green

thank you for reading my poem, if you see anything that you would change, please tell me, this poem still needs work!
thank you