Why are you there?

I sit and I wonder what I could ever want more
To know you’re there for me in times of need
To know that there will never be a time
When you will have to tell me you can’t help me
So many times have I cried and wondered why
Do these tears actually mean something?
As I watch the rain fall
I am reminded of how my tears fall for you
Never ceasing to release themselves
To relieve my heart of its pain and torment
Torment due to the fact that you can’t be mine
The fact that you have your hearts desire fulfilled
It kills to know I will never be known to do so for you
I wonder how worse I would be if I knew who she was
If I could see you together
It doesn’t hit me as hard
Since I don’t know what you do together
My memories of us together
Kill me to think that I actually believed in an “us”
That there could be something there for me with you as a mate
I remember how we would flirt after school
And how your friends would come up and ask
“Is that your new girlfriend?”
You would reply with a quick no
And I would shrug it off
But now I wonder why you did so
Were you actually feeling something for me
But didn’t want to admit it?
And why does it appear to me
That you don’t want to talk to me as much anymore?
Going out on a limb
I would guess you’re trying not to like me
By avoiding being with me
So your feelings cannot grow
I know this can never be true
For you have your girlfriend
Who you care about dearly
I know nothing will ever happen between us
So why do I even try
There is nothing in your heart for me
And there most likely never will be
So why do I continue to think about you all the time
And imagine us together?
I will never know these answers
And neither, my friend, will you