My face is painted happy, a smile that shall not fade,
No one sees the real me, for I know they’ll be afraid,
So scared of the beast I am, the freak that lives a lie,
The one who plays ‘happy families’, when all she wants is to die.
Im tortured into staying here, a place I must be fake,
Where each night I sit alone, and make the same mistake,
I cut my hideous smile away, I carve into me hate,
I show the world my ugly side, where scars I only create.
The blood is what Im looking for, It brings the real smile through,
It lets my mind finally rest, and erases the thoughts of you,
I lay with peace left in my mind, and hope that this is the last,
The final time I’ll crave for blood, and hope its in the past.
But a broken smile never heals, it grows worse every day,
And with each second passing, More blood I know I’ll pay,
I see that Im accepted, as the person I ‘play’ in life,
I wonder if they’d love me, if they knew I loved the knife.
I hope that one day I’ll be freed, that emotion will flow again,
Maybe I’ll be able to smile, and behind it hide no pain,
I can only wish that this day comes near, as I cant take much more,
I feel that if death soon comes calling, I don’t think I will ignore.
