This was a very good poem with an excellent message. The only thing I did not like was that the poem had no definite structure. In some places you had and abcb rhyme scheme, in one place and aba, and in another abac. Maybe you should choose one, or none at all. Just my thoughts. Hope they help.
Bryant, email: trackfiend@charter.net if you have questions

That's so sad! Stay Strong and hope for the best. I work in mental health and I see a lot of kids with the right treatment live normal lives! Take Care! Brooke~

Aww This Was Beautiful! Yet So Sad! I Loved It 5/5 xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

This was abit choppy to read but the message behind it was graet keep up the good work...

This was really touching. it reminds me a lot of my poem Remember Love, just how people view many things about people as outcast. great job!

wow you must be blessed, no I dont mean that rude at all honest great poem.

this was good, I am seeing the piont from your eyes because you have painted a picture that allows for the reader to view your emotions, it's good how you do that, some of the words you chose could of been other words, to capture more details in your emotion

you are gonna be famous some day. have you ever considered submiting your poems into some contests?? maybe you should, because your a wonderful poet. and i hope you know it.

The insight thru the mind of a child suffering from mental illness is amazing. This is an amazing piece. Thanks for sharing

"Left feeling betrayed and ashamed
He took his own
Before his life
Had a chance to really begin" that was really the only part i really stummbled over when reading the poem.

maybe "Left feeling betrayed and ashamed,
his own life he took,
a life to young to end,
Never reaching the chance to really begin.

i don't know it's up to you. great message though it's really sad and heartbreaking.

~Jacklyn

Nice one sherry. I work with young children who are quite severely disabled in some cases and many is the time i've looked at them and wondered why they are alive.

Kinda like the metallica song "one".

This poem really hammered home in a very simple way your feelings on this matter.

If i were to offer any advice it would be that is contained no metaphor and was potentially too clear cut in that there was nothing to work out or infer.

A very good and emotional poem. I like the content and the flow! Really great job!

Thank You for sharing this beautiful poem. I AM the child with mental illness, well I am 21 but i still feel like a scared and lonely little girl. Rollo May once said "Depression is the inability to build a future". I think in my case thats true.
xx