Listen Carefully

Listen Closely,
Stand still for one moment….
Can you hear me?
When I whisper your name at night starring into the stars,
Do you feel a cold chill come over you?
Do you feel me like I feel you?
Do you long for my tender kisses for that soft gentle touch?
Or am I just delusional in this madness I once thought was love?

When I pray, do you feel the power of love I am sending?
When I cry, do you feel the pain I am feeling?
Every time you turn me away, do you know how I hurt, do you even care?
Do you ever sit alone and wonder what things might have been like together?

Am I dreaming? Can this ever be real? Are all the odds against me?
Why can I not just let go, why can’t I release you from my soul.
Like a bird in a cage I am forever a prisoner of your love,
Although I try, I cannot escape from this torture some call love.
I am at war with myself every day, telling myself why I should forget you, why I should let go, how foolish I am for hanging on…

Nothing seems to work. I have tried making myself hate you, to not care…
I have reminisced the past, and even dwelled on all the bad memories, all the horrible words we have shared together trying to convince my self you are the enemy,
And yet I am left hanging onto you forever, forever I am bonded to this sore that will never seem to heal.

Some say I am foolish, this is all in my imagination; it will all go away with time
…and maybe they are right, maybe that day will come
Can I even control what I imagine or what I dream at night?
So many times I see you in my dreams…and I am sure to see you tonight.
There you are, within reach, yet I cannot hold you, I cannot kiss you as I desire, and I cannot make you love me as I have prayed for so many nights.

Why must this pain continue? Why does this have to carry on like a chapter in my life that never seems to end?
What was it about you that I cannot let go? I have tried sorting through all the memories and conversations we have shared.
I cannot explain this feeling, this burning inside.
There is so much I do not understand. How could I love you so much, yet you hardly know I exist?
You are so careless with your feelings, so nonchalant. I don’t know how you do it, How can you not feel my love inside you?
You will forever be there; you are the burden in my heart that will burn me forever.

My head is telling me I am a fool and that the pain must end
My heart tells me love has no end, no boundaries, no rules or fine lines
I close my eyes, and you are always there, whether that is what I want or not, there you are.
It is my cycle of pain that kills me every day, and you are clueless about it
You know nothing about this pain, about the torture
What I wouldn’t give to let go, to set you free from my heart.
I have searched and searched to find a way to release this pain, and I am left with nothing
Without your love, I will always be left with nothing.

My heart is like a cold dark room, with no one there but me, all alone
I can hear your voice, I can see your smile, and I can feel your touch
And again, I drift back into my delusion of you and me.
This is a game I cannot win, I cannot overcome this, I want to give up, but there is no point in that, because the feeling I feel will still be there

No matter how defeated I may feel, I can’t end this
I have been overcome at what was once my own game
Maybe that is my fault; maybe I brought this on myself
I have turned away all the good ones and played them for fools
Because I couldn’t see the good in them, like I couldn’t see the bad in you

I have finally gotten what I have dished out to so many
I have gotten my turn, and I am living with that pain everyday
A broken heart, it never heals, it never mends?
Now I see the pain I have once cause to others, because of you…..