The sadness I feel now
Makes me wonder just how
The knife just seemed alive
As if the death it’ll strive

Try concentrating more on the emotions in the poem instead on rhyming, because for example in the paragraph on top the rhyming messed it up and the great idea behind it is lost. Really, concentrate on the emotions and the things you want to express instead of the rhyming, it would really help.
One more thing, maybe actually divide the poem into different paragraphs, that would help too. It's easier to read that way.
You might think i really criticized this poem, but don't worry, I only do that when i think it's a good poem. It just needs a bit more work, that's all. I like it, take care.
Satuxxa

it shud be under religious. and its a bit confusing. try to make your point clearer by explaining whats happening.
~Freak~

I Liked The Format Of This Poem As Well As The Beautiful Way You Worded It~~!! I'm Looking Forward To Reading More 5.0! xoxo-Nikki-xoxo

i really like how on some lines the line that flows compliment the line above and expands the thought-e.g the first two lines, and the fifth paragraph last two lines(His voice...His hand...) the conculsion I really liked, because there is hope in it, a lot of poems don't have hope in them,
The flow was good, could touch it up abit, You paint a good picture, emotions were written, a little bit more of emotion- I say this because I like emotion in poem but overall this poem was good

I'll e-mail you something as a comment.

Most of it is really good. However, some of your lines seem written only to rhyme with the last ones. Such as: "Do not fall off the dark rim" or "I wish I threw it in a pit"

If you could find a different way to word those so it fit, or so the rhyme didn't seem forced, it would add so much to the poem. Sometimes you may have to rewrite the line before it...But it's all worth it in the end to have a truly superb poem.

Otherwise, I really think this is a good poem. :)

Beautifully written! loved it! you got talent! i loved the idea, very creative!! 5/5

Other great work of yours. I think this one has alot of meaning in it and the flow of the poem so amazing. Your work gets my attenetion I like that about them. 5/5

Juls