Should of Listened

Mom i should of listened to you from the start
about everything you said
but i had to have it my way

I dated too soon after
i broke up
you told me to wait a while
but he asked
so i said yes

You told me not to have guys over
while you were away
and again i disobeyed
this was my biggest mistake

Me and him talked about it
i told him i wasn't sure
we went into my room
where he told me it would be OK

I said i didn't want to
but he kept begging me please
and he did it anyways

Bruises i cover
are from that day
now i wish i would just die
keep thinking about that day when i was mentally alive

Images of him in my bed
keep flashing through my head
wishing this was a nightmare
but knowing thats its real
is the hardest part of it all

Just wanting to die
but wanting to stay alive

I promised my friend
i wouldn't cut again
or do anything stupid

I talk to him on the phone
cant tell him everything thought
the way i feel
and everything about that day

I wish i could
cause i need a way to vent
because everything is building up inside
one more thing and I'm going to die

But my friend is this guys friend to
they've been good friends for 2 years
so I'm stuck, no way put
not one to talk to

We tried to 3-way him on the phone
i wanted to try and talk
but ended hanging up

Want to see him in person
but afraid of what i might do
can care less what he does
nothing worse then that day

Should i put him in as much pain?
as he put me through

By:Gabi