Another not poem . . .a story (Part2)

I hate myself i make a total fool out of myself to much i was so mean OK heres the story
i was at a school talent show and this girl announces someone with the last name c**kfurt and i start laughing and when i see the girl i burst out laughing as she is overweight and i look and the guy i like says "be nice" god why did i make a fool of myself he must think I'm a very mean person now
and then the end of that day i step on a bus drivers shoe he chases after me and i run toward the guy i like to try and hide behind him and the bus driver grabs my backpack and drags me away and steps on my vans
and i know this guy doesn't like me but how can i change this?
it makes me so sad to be alone