Not how i wanted

This is not what i wanted,
And what i wanted to see,
I didn't want to cry,
And what Ive come to be,

I did not come here,
To feel this pain,
I did not come here,
To be the person to blame,

I dont want to feel,
The hurt that i do,
I didnt want to feel,
The tears falling through,

I didn't want my life,
To end this way,
Where i cant seem,
To get through the day,

My body ain't grand,
This is no lie,
Now i dont want to,
Even go out with a guy,

Knowing i ain't what they want,
It will hurt my soul,
Cause I'm not the girl,
That they want to know,

I'm different to others,
And this pain is too real,
I dont want to drag people into my life,
Where i have nothing left to feel.