Temptation

I sit and write this poem, trying not to give into temptation
But it's so hard to live with so much frustration

I sit here trying not to cut
Escaping every if, and, or but

I know it's not right, but it's so hard
Even as I look at the arm; the arm that's scarred

I hate these endless thoughts - death and parading guilt
My life is like a flower which is beginning to wilt

I don't want to commit suicide
But the voices inside me - they tell me to try

As they all shout at me
I pray to God; I tell the voices to leave

But sometimes it's too much to bear
And it's too much of a burden to share

To people all around me, I seem happy and okay
Yet the hurt beneath is so unseen; it splits my heart away

And if my mask is shaken, and I'm asked what's wrong
I smile, say I'm fine, and pretend like I'm so strong

But really I am breaking, though it may not seem that way
To my friends and to all others that I see every day

But still I fight the temptations that keep me up at night
The secrets are hidden deep within as I try to keep up my fight