My Suicide Note

by Brook   Apr 23, 2005


*not real...just trying to get my feelings out*

How would you define life?
Just being here? or actually liking it?
Because i can tell you right now,
that i don't like being here.
It's like living without a soul,
for me at least,
not loving, crying, or really feeling anything.
Many people feel like this,
but usually others don't know
because people cover it up so well,
smiling, hiding their true feelings,
while they feel like hell.
What would you do if you were them?
Just keep going? or just leave,
without anyone knowing why?
well, i choose to leave,
and although some people know
of some reason why i might try to die,
nobody knows the big reason,
one i try to hide, even from myself
Do you have any idea how hard that is?
no, I didn't think so,
because your life was so easy,
you had everything that you wanted,
all the time,
didn't have to deal with
verbal abuse, taunts, pretenders,
not even fate...
You never had to deal with any of that,
until I came along
I ruined your perfect life,
made everything hard, depressed you,
beyond reach, so now,
you are laying in front of me,
dead on the floor...
how and why continue to cross my mind,
but i soon see the blood, all around you,
like a warm, comforting blanket of death.
I realize then that it was me
who drove you o this,
so right then and there i take your knife,
and stab it through my heart
Everything begins to spin,
my world turning dark.
I wind up there beside you,
our blood blending together...
Not long after this,
I wake up to find out that
I did not succeed in leaving
this terrible world, only you did.
I begin to cry, and as the tears
begin to run down my face,
I remember how much we shared,
never to talk again,
for you left me, I hate to think it's true,
but I was at your funeral dear friend,
and saw your cold body
being lowered into the ground.
Dear friend, I need you to ask God
just one question for me,
Why only you? Why not me too?

*please comment*

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