Deteriorate

Fearless of death and of pain and anger
No reason for being so numb and hurting so much
Scared of the person who is consuming me so quickly
Longing for a lovers healing, tender touch

Seeping through fresh cuts bright on my skin
Comes the blood that I live to see, live to feel
As I sit in silence, no one seeing through my mask, my lies
Cutting is the only way I can convince myself I am real

Tiptoe so slowly, with the pills in my hands, so sad
Put myself in a coma in which I am awake yet so dead
Talking of getting better, smiling again. Laughing
Block people out, lying motionless, sleepless in my bed

My mind was a sanctuary so easily broken into
Now you are picking it apart and draining me dry
No longer myself, too many questions, I have no answers
You’ve torn me apart, now watch me as I cry and I cry

Bring up my past, and memories which should be buried in the past
I wish I hadn’t told you my dad hits me and hurts me
So I slip away, my friends leaving me to deteriorate all alone
The only person to cry as well was the only person to see