The rhyme scheme is strange, but never interupts the flow, it's well written, and well expressed. Nicely done.

Very good second part, both of them are very well written, I hope to see more from you

wow very original, even better then the first i think. you definetely have talent keep it up!
xxxChristinaxxx

i like the way you wrote this poem! I think you are very talented by what poems i have read! Keep it up :)

I like the originality of subject matter in this - there is annotheer poet on here - Robert - whose work shows the same degree of variation of topic - i think you would enjoy reading his work and learn something from him. I like the style in which you write and of the two I think this is the stronger. Well done. Love Rach xx

Can anyone perceive their sound, through the pearls that they pierce
Can anyone see that Armageddon is near

I'd say that part and the last few lines need more work on the flow. But all the other parts were very good, they flow was almost perfect! I must say I enjoyed this poem a lot...it was original and clear. Keep writing,
Satuxxa

Thank you for catching that...I fixed it.

:)

Hina