This smile of mine

I must fake this smile
of mine
I must fake all these words
I say
I must hide
All these feelings of mine

I must pretend everything
I will say I'm fine
Even if I'm not
Must not tell others
What i feel inside

And when I cry
I will fake a smile
And when I'm sad
I will fake my happiness
And when I'm mad
I will fake a laugh

Because I don't want others knowing who I am
Or how I feel
All I will do is just
Not be me
And fake everything
I do

Everything I do
Is a mistake
And me by telling others
How I feel inside
Will be a mistake
I will cause more problems
Like I always do
I'm not making
Others shine

I don't want
You to worry about me
I'm going to be ok
On holding my problems inside

You can go on
But, don't worry
If i stay behind
Because maybe just maybe
I will catch up
Unless I end this now
Than I will be far behind

And my reason
For holding everything
inside.
Is because no one would
even understand
What kind of pain I'm going through
So now I must fake this smile
Of mine.
And I must end my life
With a touch of a knife.