A bad friend

I've been gone for a while,
Where I was I'm not quite sure,
Somewhere between being in love,
And fighting an internal war,

I've neglected those that mean everything to me,
Those I use to take for granted,
Your wonderful kindness you showed to me,
I guess my view was slanted,

I didn't realize how happy you made me,
How lost I'd be without you,
But now I see what I almost gave up,
Now I'm trying to reach you,

The internal war still wages,
But there's two things I see clear,
One is that I love you,
And two is what I fear,

I fear that I might lose you,
Through all my selfish acts,
I fear that you may judge me,
Without knowing all the facts,

I didn't mean to be a nuisance,
I tried to pull myself back,
I'm sorry I changed for the worse,
I had a sad attack,

I... I... I... what's wrong with this poem,
It was started to make a mends,
But half way through,
It looks like I'm losing my friends,

Sorry if I've hurt you,
Sorry if I've made you feel ... this small,
Sorry I've been a bad friend,
I never meant to at all,

I hope you accept my apology,
I really am trying hard,
To go back to what I use to be,
To return from where I was...!

*To all my friends I'm sorry I love you and I miss you all... I hope this summer I can get back what I lost, make up for what I've done and be as happy as I once was... !*