Too Many Times

Too many times have I looked in the mirror
And too many times I looked quickly away
Reflecting back upon this so called life
And wondering how I came to be this way

Too many times I’ve been disgusted of myself
And too many times have I wanted to die
Looking at each and every faded scar
And all the reasons I made them and lied

Too many times have I kept my secrets
And too many times have I screamed in my head
Yelling about what people have done to me
And recalling every cruel word they said

Too many times I’ve cried my tears
And too many times they’ve drowned me
Submerging me in an ocean of sorrow and despair
And I couldn’t swim up to breathe

Too many times have I told them different
And too many times I said it wasn’t true
Numerous bruises from my mothers hand
And yet I told not one of you

Too many times I thought it was me
And too many times I knew it wasn’t right
Drunk and angry you came home dad
And you came in and raped me that night

Too many times I’ve thought of it being better
And too many times I wished you were still here
Suicide takes so many lives, even yours
And now you’re where you have endless cheer

Too many times have I thought of these things
And too many times I wanted to be free
Wanting to pick up a knife and slice my throat
But now this time is just one time too many

I don\'t like this one. But please vote/comment just the same. Thanks!