Old Friend

Almost three weeks
Almost twenty-one days
Just one more
And I’ll have made it so far
So why is my mind on the blade?

I’ve been fine mostly
Thought about it plenty
But never quite this much
Never missed it so
But now I’m remembering it
And I’m missing the blood
And I’m missing the pain

I know I still need to try
I know I can’t stop so easily
And I knew things were bad
When I pierced my ears
Just for the pain of it
And I was disappointed in the end
Because the holes didn’t bleed

I think about it at least once a day
I’m still going through withdrawl
And this will last for ages
Because it’s like quitting a habit
Quitting an addiction
It will take more time
More will power
Than anything else

I hope I’ll be fine
I hope it won’t beat me
Like all the other times
Before that night
But now I’m stopping
To save my own life
If I go on
Then I will end up dead

Good-bye old friend
I’ll never forget you
Those things I shared
The secrets I told you
The tears I cried
The nights I held you
Never wanting to let go
The nights you were there for me
Helping me through the pain
I’ll remember your kindness

Good-bye old friend
I’ll never forget you
Those things you shared
The secrets you told me
The tears you made me cry
The nights you scarred me
Never letting the blood stop
The nights you would beat me
Causing me so much pain
I’ll remember your anger

I loved you then
I love you still
I hated you too
I hate you still
I’ll never forget you
But I’ll always want to
I’ll always crave you
But always loathe you
Good-bye old friend