My journal

I picked up a journal to read what it said,
to see what thoughts actually occupied my head.
You see these were all my old writings,
things i once knew.
A book holding my deepest darkest secrets,
it even held thoughts about you.
I turned the first few pages,
to see what i would find and i found some sweet poems and a dark one about life.
I turned it to the middle and shocked that i would find,
A picture of you smiling,
looking me right back in the eyes.
I read the small inscription that was right above your smile.
It said, \\\" i Love you baby and hope we stay together for a long while.\\\"
This seemed to trigger memories for they all rushed to my head,
even brining back things i wish i would be able to forget.
But all the same They came back to me,
I broke down and fell to the ground,
Tears started running rapidly,
like a river that makes no sound.
Now i remembered why i closed that journal and why i let it be.
It was for my own protection,
to keep from hurting me.
It was filled with so many memoires,
some good but mostly sad,
Like about the day you left me and i tell you now i was not glad.
I cried So hard that no tears would form,
my heart was aching,
my soul felt torn.
I tried to scream and let it out,
but when i opened my mouth no sounds came out.
Maybe this was a way for love to get back,
for not treating you fairly,
I was wrong for that.
I am not the same man that I used to be and if only now you would come back to me.
I would show you I changed and that i am someone new.
Someone who would show you that he truly loves you.

I can say all these things now but yet you are no where near.
Not anywhere remotely close so you could sit and hear.

So now i had to get up and dry my eyes,
take a deep breath and release a long sigh.
I closed that journal and Then let it be,
i Put it in darkness where no one could see.
As i walked away,
eyes still burning from tears,
I reflect on what matters most and this is what I hear.

You had a good girl,
now she's gone,
Don't give up hope,
you have to hold on.
Love works in mysterious ways,
It plays with us until the end of our days.
But there a few times when it lets you see,
what this thing called love is really supposed to be.
So agian please don't let go,
Hold on,
just try.
Don't let your grip fade and begin to say goodbye.
You must fight for your loved one
in hopes that they see,
that you are the one that they're destined to be.
With not for a moment,
Not for a year,
But for the rest of eternity,
a match was made here.
Love plays it's games,
Just Don't let it win,
You'll be a stronger person,
If you fight it from within....

Still amazed at what i heard in my head,
I walk now In A Daze,
Wondering how i got here,
why my mind feels so damn crazed.
I never knew my words would touch me,
and make me Want you more,
to show me that i Love you
and there is no other i would adore.

My words really touched me baby,
I hope they touch you too..
For i Love you with all my heart and soul and i hope some day the feelings will be mutual...