Silently commit...My suicide

Red wine the color of crimson
crimson the color of blood
blood so deeply cut
dark crimson...
the color of your heart
let me cry myself to sleep tonight
let me sob into my pillow
let me bleed onto my blanket
bleed the blood from my crimson wounds
was i supposed to do this?
is this supposed to be my life
crying crimson tears
and bleeding morbid fears
because every time i turn around
there's another problem to be found
so as i continue to gash
these wounds continue to heal
looking at my masterpiece
and feeling sort of tired
could this really be happening
is this my dream come true
but i awoke the next morning
another day of torture
i quit this game
please let me out
now my nightmares are for real
and deep inside my beaten soul
I'm breaking, hurting, always crying
I'm always running
but never escaping
so many different roads
all of them dead ends
like I'm trapped in a world of nothing
the nothing of my life
just go away
no more excuses, NO
don't bring them my way
because this rain inside of me
is thundering down
the lightning slowly shatters my heart
this storm is living inside of me
inside my soul
this rain is slowly defeating me
I'm letting go
screaming out for help
screaming really loud
"help me to escape
help me leave this awful world"
wrists are crimson from self harm
no one hears my silent cries
so will they notice
if i silently commit...
my suicide

(C) Lucy Green