Blurred is the colour I am in

I found myself on my own
Looking out of the window
In disbelieve of all
What happened
In my pate everything is addled
Hopes and wishes buzz
Between all my fears and desires

It will take a long time
That’s the only thing I can say for sure
To compose those little chips
To a complete and sensible picture of mine

I am heading for clearness
Instead of loss
A weaken feeling
My mind unable to think straight
Why not be someone else ?
Why me ? Gosh , what was it
That I had to be punished
With such pain

Blurred is the colour I am in
The colour that perfectly defines
My discretion and soul
Mixed up feelings and thoughts
With facts of sad reality

*Please, vote and tell me what you think.
Thank you a lot.
Sabine