I liked this poem It sounds like how I used to be until i ment the guy i love and its like i exploded LOL

I liked the poem, I thought it flows well and it works well altogether.. well done to you, I dont think it needs anything else.. If you really want to change it... read it to yourself a couple of times and try and find wat you think is wrong, well done xx

OK, so this poem isn't as bad as you made it out to be on the forum. You should have little more self pride in your work. Seeing you asked so nicely though I will try my best to give you some pointers.

In the verse that reads:

I can't sing,
I can't play the guitar,
I can't even identify a note when it's played.
I certainly won't be a musician.

The third line appears to be too long when compared to the rest of this piece. It sort of affects the flow and rhythm that was going well until this point. An alternative may be:

I can't sing,
I can't play the guitar,
I MAY EVEN BE TONE DEAF
I certainly won't be a musician.

Obviously minus the capital letters, I only typed it that way to empathise.

The poem as a whole worked well though, an interesting read.

Keep Writing
Nici

I think you did a great job don't be so hard on yourself. Keep up the good work! Take Care! Brooke~

good poem! i agree with Nici and Kelly L.
hayley-ree xxx
check out mine sometime xxx

I think the poem made its point

hey thanx for the comments on my poem, this is a very good poem also, c ya

thanks guys for all the help and all the comments!!

ill try to comment on yalls poems if i havent already, just as soon as i can!!

wow, I really loved this one. you write wonderfully. and I loved the photo of your profile. love you, marjan

thanks!! =)

Wonderful poem, I think just about everyone can relate to this at times. Take care.
-J.M.

Hey, the poem over-all was really good, but it's just kind of...this might not be the right word but, drab. You need to throw in some more metaphors...and like someone said above me you might consider re-writing it once you've moved on a little...you asked for suggestions and i could rewrite the whole thing for you but that wouldn't be the right thing to do...lol...but for the first stanza you have

I'm just an average person,
I'm not special,
I'm not anything wonderful,
I'm just simply....ME.

I would have it something like

I'm just an average person,
not so special or unique,
I'm not something fabulous,
I'm just simply...ME

That way you kinda break up the "I'm" that starts every line and the "fabulous" instead of "wonderful" kinda spruces it up...and I think the word "something" flows better than "anything." The extra words in line 2 improve the rhythm a little...just stuff like that.

Like it's been said, the whole thing could probably be re-written to put some more excitment into it...

OKay I feel like this is a really mean comment and I feel bad, but I'm just trying to critique! I really did like the poem it just needs a little more, sorry if I sound offensive!

Keep up the great work babe,
xoxo-Sierra Rae

hey great poem! i can kind of relate to it
blesings courtie

This was a really good poem, and whether it was completely true or not always remember, being yourself is the best thing to be! No matter what you can or can't do, how you look or how you don't. People like you for you! Not something that you're not! Keep on writing! And always remember YOU ARE YOU, WHO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE!!!

Nice poem. this poem may not b tru 2 u but it is kinda tru 2 other ppl. the only quality i hav is that i play piano and guitar though not very gd bt otherwise im average 5/5 chek mine out plz

Hey i really like this poem bc i really relate to it. I try to classify myself in a click but i son't fit in any of them (there isn't one for us adverage poeple) lol I guess like you said I'm just me!~ I really liked your poem great job!~