Why cant i?

Why can't I tell you how I feel?
Feeling happy,sad, mad & just not feeling at all about you. I just don't know why, it just seems I can't tell you the why I feel. Feeling like I want to die, or just be with you. But then I see YOU with HER, I'm crushed like an ant on the bottom side of a shoe.
NOW, right now I feel so crushed by you. I guess feeling like that won't help me get over this, but I don't know what else to do it's all I've ever done is like you, just one boy, that's you. And I don't know why I can't just tell you that I had feelings for you. But I haven't. And I'm always thinking in my head
" Why Can't I ? "