My Mistake (Song of the Stumbler)

by Samantha   Jun 5, 2005


Just going through the motions,
Drowning in the oceans
Of blankets on my bed.
The window lets in sunlight,
But the world doesn't seem right
As your words float around in my head.

With every single breath
This life has become a test
Of my strength to stand misery.
With every waking moment
I guess I'm alive, I just don't know it.
Is this how I'm meant to be?

You were someone I used to know
Why did you have to go?
I just don't know now...
Is there any resemblance
To the one I had been with?
I guess not, it's my mistake...

Oh why, oh why, oh why
Do I, oh I, oh I
Have to go through
This every day?
And why, oh why, oh why
Am I, oh I, oh I
So used to this
Mistake?

Oh why
Were you
My mistake?

© Likuid Pain
aka Samantha Tulgetske

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by PS

    I really liked the first two stanzas. the rest was ok. it sounds like a song whic is awesome

  • 17 years ago

    by Dark Kitten

    This verse made all the difference to this poem:

    Oh why, oh why, oh why
    Do I, oh I, oh I
    Have to go through
    This every day?
    And why, oh why, oh why
    Am I, oh I, oh I
    So used to this
    Mistake?

    It was something very original to my, I think, because hardly any of the poets I read poems by do anything too new and original. They are always way too worried about whether everyone else would enjoy their poem. What if this and what if that, you know? I'm into originality, and as long as the writer likes it, someone out there will too.

  • 18 years ago

    by StMario

    Now I am not the artist that you appear to be,so in saying so, help me with this one.

    Interesting, yet I like to know how this one came to mind... keep writing.... sometime we have to disregard others comments.. they are not edifying.. I would say if it is a terrible poem give advise.. but be kind in doing so...

    I have no advise, no negative comments,it is your poem and your thoughts, just fill me in on who was it that you lost and how it happened... clear it up for me... you are very young to write so deep... you are gifted.....

  • 18 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    I really lvoed this one.. complete to me.. i really got no helpful crits,.. but the flow was very good, nice rhyme scheme that didnt seem forced,.. the fourth stanza is, i think, the most interesting. the repetition and rhyme, it really just set the feeling in a unique way, as i read it. the ending seems outta place,.. like the words had built up force before it.. almost like you needa pause for the last line, cuz it just doesnt flow like the previous stanza.. anyway 5/5.. goodjob =O)

  • 18 years ago

    by nikki

    great poem good job.