I love me (part1)

I’m obsessive, neurotic and fanatical.
This is who I have grown to be,
But don’t be scared of my fixations,
because this is only me.
Maybe I take every joke too far,
and every crush becomes much more,
And maybe I am just too ‘black and white’,
but I feel it’s better to be sure.
Anger to me always turns to hate,
there’s never “He is O.K,”
Because in my mind everything’s one way or another
and that is how it will stay.

I may become to analytical
and question everything’s worth,
But I’m the analyst I was meant to be,
I’m living my place on earth.
Maybe I look at everything too closely,
trying to find the answers I need,
But all the reason in the world
is off what my brain will feed.
It probably gets so annoying,
my answers to every query,
But I have my morals and I think quite a lot,
so I always will have a theory.

I’m sorry I wear these dark goggles,
and she everything at its worst.
And I take everything as being sexist or racist,
it’s not my fault though, I am just cursed.
I can never forget the injustices,
and the fairness goes by without consideration,
This is because I see the world so bleakly,
and the darkness is my fascination.
Maybe I’m too neglectful of assistance
and so reminiscent of the disgust,
So lost in cooperation and mutual aid
that I simply can’t help but trust.

I’m sorry that I judge from first impressions
and thoughts from old history,
But I realize I don’t always get it right,
and people aren’t what you think they’ll be.
So I’m sorry to the people I prematurely hated,
because of things I thought I knew
I don’t exactly have psychic powers,
but sometimes I forget and think I do.
I know I’m not all that agreeing,
I’m conflicting and sometimes quite mean,
But I’m sorry that I ended up this way,
it’s not how I have always been.

I know I never try to protect,
anyone from the harsh truths of life,
Because you can’t protect someone forever,
you can’t hold them from strife.
So I might as well get it all over now
and tell them the pain there can be,
Show them the hurt I have been through,
tell them what happened to me.
But I also show them how to get through it
and finish my story of hope,
I tell them how the stuff I went through
is what taught me how to cope.

I may be a little too honest at times,
and say what they didn’t want to hear,
But lying is what has got me into trouble before,
so I want to make it so clear.
I mean people deserve to know the truth,
it doesn’t matter what they know,
Lying to people makes me so hurt,
so I just leave the whole truth out on show.
People are going to find out one day,
might as well be from me,
Because I take pride in telling the truth,
I’m in love with my honesty.

I hate that I have become a perfectionist,
when in perfection I don’t believe,
Because it’s like I’m striving for something that’s not there,
which is impossible to achieve.
But to me I have to ace each test,
full marks and a big congratulation,
And to do this I barely bother studying,
because in fluking I find gratification
And if things are not how I want then,
I throw a little fit,
I cry my eyes out, completely lose it,
and thump the ground a bit.