Times fall and repeat, repeat.

by Sean   Jun 21, 2005


Glance at each step you take,
Forwards, forwards in each and
every motion.
Feel the time, swim over you
Gliding, gliding out of reach,
step by step.
Motion in motion.

Feeling the pressing of the foot,
tenderly on the tiptoes you tread.
Dancing, dancing, out of control,
forwards, in each and every motion,
Forwards…
and you stumble, stumble, falling,
ever falling.

Slam, against the floor,
Backwards, backwards?
It swam, the time you took,
flew away, in the watery sky,
Of motion, motion.
You’ve fallen, fallen…
Fallen again.

That’s all you’ll ever do,
So stand up, stand up,
And just dance with me…
One last time.

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Shædow Poet

    The repitition of "fallen" gave me the feeling of a long, never-ending sensation of plumiting into nothingness. You used it realy well to this poems advantage. I don't know why, but I loved the word "tenderly" in this poem. "tenderly" "tiptoes" "tread"; whether it was on purpose or not, the alliteration in that sentence rolled off the tongue splendidly.
    I liked this poem very much.

  • 18 years ago

    by Dorotea©

    This poem started off wonderfully. With the first lines, I was already totally absorbed in it. The repetition of some of the words gave this poem a feeling of importance. Good job.

    The ending, I think, came a little too abruptly. With the words, "that's all you'll ever do," I guess I kind of fell out of the plot. If you took out the last stanza, it could be better, but other than that it's a very nice poem. And, of course, you and/or others might like it better with the last stanza. Either way, I like this poem.
    Dorotea

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