Why Does Life Have To Be This Way?

Why Does Life Have To Be This Way?

I sit here thinking day by day,
why does life have to be this way,
but I know that it's no one's fault but mine,
I cannot blame others when I don't try to shine,
I just can't seem to make amends with this putrid man,
this man that lives inside of me and I know I never can,
I just hate myself for what I've done and the things that I shall do,
I hate myself for what I've done to you,
I sometimes think about my life and wish to end it all,
I sometimes pick up that knife and start to take the fall,
but in the end I set it down and slowly walk away,
so once again I ask myself why does life have to be this way?