wow, great use of words and rhyiming. good job. keep writing

omg i liked it, it was deep. keep it up girl! 5/5

Great poem full stop. BUT especially for someone only twelve. You have a good grasp on the emotions and by reading it the song poisen by alice cooper sprang into my mind. Dunno if you got the idea from that or not. X

What an AMAZING poem! You have to teach me how to write like this! lol Anyway, keep up the good work!

Love the rhyme schme... and you use of words. The ending was the best! keep wrting.

hey i love that.......that was really good.....please comment on some of mine! that would mean a lot!

This is a well written poem...I love how it tells a story unlike some poems that just dont make sense good job.

I'm amazed at your writing. Honestly I'm a bit speechless. The idea of this is so good and you definitely made it work. Something so many can relate to....forbidden love lol....Excellent!

The only MINOR suggestion I could think of making is to lose the commas...that sometimes takes away from the flow. You're the writer...you make the call. No big deal...

Beautifully written my dear!! I have really enjoyed reading your writings! Excellent pieces they are....

very well written! nice flow and rhythym...keep it up!

good job, good writing.. great line with the poisonous kiss .... keep on writing.......

great poem...i really liked it and thanx for voting on my poem Untitled it meant a lot....5/5

i want that poisonous kiss again too sadly. i want it soo bad lol its sickning.
great poem.
xoxo samara

wow!!!!*claps* great job that was awesome!!!!