Your so close it hurts...

by Krispie   Jul 12, 2005


*Im still working on finishing this one....but i just want to know what ya think of it so far...please comment!!!!thanks a bunch*

It’s like you’re on the other side of the frozen pond,
Waiting…
And I’m running on the ice,
Trying my hardest to get to you
But I’m slipping and getting nowhere
Finally I fall and a tear runs down my cheek
As I look up to see you walking away...

Wondering if there will ever be anyone,
Who would care to come and pick me up
And help me to the other side

But until then,
I’ll sit here
On the cold ice
Hoping to fall in,
…that would end all of my miseries

But don’t worry,
I’m still watching you walk away
Hoping at one point,
You’ll turn around…
Realizing that you forgot me

~you’re so close but yet I can’t get my hands on you!

*If anyone is willing to help me fiinish this poem id really appreciate it...im kinda in a rut and not sure what else to add to it*

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Stephanie and Laura

    This is veryy good so far and i dont think you need to add much .. its amazing.. keep up the good workk
    :)

  • 18 years ago

    by call.me.crazy

    I feel the same way. absolutely. we're supposed to be "just friends" now but he doesn't even talk to me anymore. i try, and it's so hard because i still have all these feelings for him but he won't turn around and realize what he just lost. or at least, if he does, he doesn't show it. and i thought we were so in l.o.v.e.

    amazing poem. it really captures my thoughts and its extremely creative. i don't think you should add anymore, it captures your "confused/lost" feeling. i know just how you feel. love itttt.

  • 18 years ago

    by {(*~sCarRed meMorI3S~*)}

    Great poem (so far), I don't think u need to add much. Just put something like how he was here for you and then one day when u needed him the most, he never showed up. Keep up the good work......luv...mini

  • 18 years ago

    by Jessica K

    it was reallie .. i guess u could add some stuff like how he said he'd always be there to help you and love you and always care but he just keeps walking .. like one day he just wanted to end it .. with no explaining ... just to leave u there hurting
    Jess xoxox

  • 18 years ago

    by ~*~ViRgIn_SuIcIdE~*~

    i think this poem is very good...you dont need to add much...just add something like if he was true to u he would have been there helpin u...somethin like that...please comment on my stufff...

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