Decision to Betray Resurrection

I lay down on my bed of shame
Trying to cope with all this pain
Hell’s flames reach closer with desire
I have no more courage to sire.

Red water leeks from my veins
Sink filled with my human remains
Soaking in the bloodstained bath
Trying to hide from Satan’s wrath.

Freedom was the one thing I yearned for
Though I had no clue what was in store
Love was the one thing I had and lost
All my purity and hope paid the horrid cost.

Only sign of shallow life
the tears that flow from my eyes
For only my shadow is breathing.
And inside my heart is not beating.

I shout the words I once whispered
But pain is something I can no longer bear
My cries and weeps for help no one hears
I try to hide my face so they won’t see my tears.

My secret soul full of sins…forgotten
And my exiled heart broken…forbidden
Days pass but the last hours are murder
I am the dying sheep and death’s the herder.

My only comfort is the moonlight
Casting a ray of dead hope at night
Let it slip and enter all my regrets
Darkness is screaming silent threats.

Doesn’t matter even if I was whole
My grace has passed me by long ago
The only faith left is that of a fool
Simply to say life has been too cruel.

I have a hunger that cannot be filled
All the evils that will never be killed
Shivers of emotions tingle my body
Silent pandemonium echoes loudly.

Tied down with my chains tight
All my body clad, unable to fight
I have no more strength left to squander
My spirit is an outcast left to wander.

Unwanted, left alone for stray
In darkness forever must I stay
Leave me be to slide into sorrow
I’ll be nothing but a whisper tomorrow.

Weighting me down are my sins
Yet I will never trust or give in
Misery is my new praised motto
And my liberty was lost long ago.

Never again will I live in trust
But grieve in apologizes I must
For I was betrayed too many times
They all believe my anger is a crime.

My fate knotted, my pride severed
My body and soul are anchored
Trapped by fate and cruel destiny
Lost my life from all the agony.

Angels show me nothing but deception
Demons in my dreams with contemplation
They all come in with lies upon their lips
Reality crawls out with scratches and rips.

What tortures me most are the memories
They are remembered like a cruel disease
Leaking into my mind like a wild sea
Look at what they all have made me to be

I have made the final resting decision
I shall never live again, betray my position
Offer anything but I shall resist your bribes
You can’t make me fall for those worthless lies.

Unable to recreate the presence cold
My subtle conscience is withered and old
Not much longer can these syndromes last
But what tortures me most is the wretched past.

Can’t cheat the evils of the past and dead
Uncertainty can never secure or mend
Never lay untruthful hands upon Pandora’s box
Danger takes the key and leaves the lock.

I was always deceived of help and protection
So do not give me the opportunity of resurrection
All my existence and secrets are forever hidden
My lost soul…forgotten…my exiled heart…forbidden…