Modern Romeo, sidestruck fool.

by Sean   Jul 20, 2005


Children in the grass,
Holding hands, and cute little games
A doll, a parent, cooking? Oh of course,
Dreams!
And desires maybe wishes of childrens lives
Together?

Such a dream, wish and desire beheld me.
Fiancée?
Seems a farce to think of children,
both just 15, so young yet
Juliet was just 13, stabbed in the heart
from Romeos lost loves lips, lead to
subtle deaths.

Romance? Possible you dare say,
for children, playing in the grass
grew to be more, and the holding
of hands, and the small little games
Peck of the cheek? Seems distant as
she lays there by me, in my bed.

Young? You dare call me young!
Of course I am!
But please don’t tell me that,
because I will be married,
to such the beautiful person who rests here.
Or shall I have to repeat the same mistakes,
Of Shakespeare’s verse?

I’ve got both ring and dagger ready.
Poison and her lips, to mine.
Call me strange,
But I proposed,
Dare call me young!
Because this poison is dancing
Dancing on my tongue.

[first attempt of such a style, excuse it's oddness]

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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Mal

    I think you did a great job! This was very different and I liked the style. Keep working at it because you will do well!

  • 18 years ago

    by Timothy Bledsoe

    This was the first of your pieces that I have read. I found it to be very, very good. I'm not familiar with the style and form that you used, so found it refreshingly odd. And since when was oddness a bad thing? Anywho, A very strongly written piece. Flow was excellent. I agree, your form and style played well with your refrences to Shakespeare. A most liberating write. I applaud you, sir.

    Timothy Bledsoe

  • 18 years ago

    by Shædow Poet

    A very personal piece, Sean. I did not find it odd at all; rather a unique write.
    The way you wrote it seemed to tie in well with the Shakespearean era which you made reference to. I believe many people are calling you too young to be in love and engaged? Don't worry about this, from what I read you are extremely mature for your age; this poem shows it.
    Your last stanza was very strong, I very much enjoyed it.
    (although I am no fan of "Romeo and Juliet" as a love story).

  • 18 years ago

    by Lil Luce

    nar no oddness i love poems like this. that dont fall into the usual style...really strong and really represents a lot....love the references to shakespeare aswel...like most poets i guess they are inspired by such an excellent writer and poet! well done and would love ur insight on some of my poems! take care
    xxxLoUxxx

  • 18 years ago

    by Unpridictable Woman

    sean that was way beyond beautiful.i think that is too good for words. you don't deserve a 5 you deserve a 10! you are on my favorite list

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