Nice rhyming...the last stanza is my favorite part...you sure have talent for poetry...

xxx

Good rhyming.

specially like this bit

hide my tears and all my pain
Behind a broken smile and skies of gray
I watch as I slowly lose all I have gained
To the sands of time and winds of change

all together it was a very good poem. with so much emotion and pain, you're very talented. keep it up

Try using more physical things to describe what your talking about. This poem seemd to be bogged down slightly with too much talk about feelings and intangible ideas. If you can use things that relate to the senses to describe these things it makes your writing more powerful.

great job here!! nice flow... and you conveyed ur emotions very well!! i can really relate to this one! :) keep up the great work!!

*~peace and love~*

soo great!! u are an awesome writer especially at being new to it...i love reading your poems...theyre filled with so much emotion and a great choice of words.....5/5

Cool...Yeah I did like this. Not really that strong but I liked it anyway. Good flow and interesting structure.