I am better than I am

You wanted a different me,
it's the thing you longed for dear,
Not being able to give,
is my greatest fear.

This fear is now a dream,
from which I will not wake.
your disappointed heart,
is one I cannot take,

I know the smile you show isn't real,
you don't need to tell me lies.
You can stop the hiding,
I can read it in your eyes.

I'm still not good enough for you,
You continue your fight,
I guess it doesn't matter what I do,
I can't do a thing right.

It won't be better for me,
to change to your desire,
it is myself I had to be,
What you wanted was a liar.

It now is to late to change the start.
why didn't you told me back then?
I know now, what you didn't want to see
I am better than I am.