Saw your face again

The blackness is here once again
that great big gaping hole i feel inside
tears roll down my face
not that you notice
not like you care
all those sleepless nights
all those painful thoughts
what do they mean nothing
they used to
i used to be able to sit and take the abuse
i used to sit at night hugging my pillow
telling myself "its okay" "He doesn't mean it"
"everything will work out"
it worked out for a while then the doubt creeped back
whatever i tried i just couldn't stop
couldn't stop the tears rolling down my face
why was i crying?
why am i still crying?
because the day you walked away
out of my life
you left a gaping hole
why was i so stupid
stupid enough to believe you when you said you loved me
everyone else saw it why didn't i?
it was right in front of me
it wasn't me you wanted it was her
so now i just sit here thinking of how you used me and what i would do if i saw your face again???

*this poem is about my ex boyfriend john king