Commending God

by Some Random Human   Jul 28, 2005


She's so beautiful standing in the sun light,
she's so beautiful in the middle of the night,
whenever I see her, I say she's beautiful,
when she's not around, I know she looks wonderful,
God, I must commend you on your very best work of art,
God, I must commend you on the keeper of my heart,
she's so close to perfect, at least through my eyes,
she's so close to perfect, and I realize,
that her only imperfection is that she lives here on Earth,
her only flaw I see is that she had a mortal birth,
she could stand next to angels and put them all to shame,
if she were to visit Hell, she'd put out the immortal flame,
and I'm so glad to know her, yet I feel so very bad,
she makes my life worth living, but it kind of makes me sad,
sad because she has to live here in this mortal life,
this place that is so horrid, so very full of strife,
but one day I know that she'll be where she belongs,
she'll go on home to Heaven and sing the angels songs,
so God, I must commend you on your very best creation,
I don't need to think about it, it takes no contemplation,
she's the best you've ever made, and the best you'll ever make,
she is the very reason for every breath I take,
God, I must commend you on your greatest accomplishment,
and God, I must thank you for the best person you've ever sent...

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by WeT^TiSSue

    Dude that was damn well incredible. seriously amazing, usually when i see a poem that lon i dont read it but this one kept me captivated...well done sai

  • 17 years ago

    by Sean Allen

    "she makes my life worth living, but it kind of makes me sad,
    sad because she has to live here in this mortal life,"
    I liked the repitition of sad. I thought it helped establish a very 'real' feeling for the poem. The repitition in general was very well done.

    "she'll go on home to Heaven and sing the angels songs,"
    you want an apostrophe after the 's' in angels'

    I think your poem's strength comes in the length of each line. Since there are so many words inbetween each rhyme, it makes it easier to handle the rhymed couplets. I thought the rhymes in general were well done, and you avoided most really common rhymes, keeping the poem fresh. I didn't mean to write a comment so free of criticism, but I really thought this one was very well done.

  • 18 years ago

    by kiesha

    That was absolutely beautiful! The girl that you wrote this for is very lucky. Keep up the good work, you're very talented.

  • 18 years ago

    by _

    omg i love this poem..its great !

  • 18 years ago

    by Mississippigirl08

    great job!!