What if I got nothing to lose?

I've lost so much,
In such a fast amount of time,
It's slipping away from my life,
Like water when you put it in your hands.

I know she's alive,
She's somewhere in this world,
And she lives in a better place,
I know I should be happy,
But inside I mourn for her,
Wishing everyday she’d live with us once again.

I know he thinks that I’m still “his” in his head,
But in his heart is where you need to look.
I know he’s still young and he’s not used to love yet,
And I haven’t too,
But when you’ve got a key to his heart,
It’s easy to see.
Every single day, he keeps building.
A hard, strong, and tall brick wall that he’s building between him and me,
It gets taller and taller till I can’t see him,
And that’s when I lost the love he’s got for me.

Attention from my parents,
It used to be so warm and caring,
Getting good grades,
Being healthy and growing,
It’s all good but,
It’s like wearing the same clothes everyday,
They got too bored,
And so they moved onto bro,
At least he’s still got a bit room to grow.

It seems small,
But it was big,
My pet goldfish Mickey,
Is swimming in the lake of heaven.
It was a daily thing to do when I said “hi”
And whisper the gossip, and everything else.
One day he stopped swimming,
He was up-side down.
I guess he got too bored of hearing my stories,
Thinking that swimming in heaven was better.

Maybe heaven is nice,
I mean, I’ve got nothing to lose,
I don’t have to think twice,
Because no one cares about me enough to give me advice