To be happy

I want to be happy,
truly happy.
I want to be able to go days, maybe weeks
without being sad.
I want to know what to do
and not be so confused.
I want to be able to be alone
and not cry.
I don't want to feel lonely.
I wish I didn't want to die.
And think death is the only way out.
I want to enjoy life
and cherish it.
I want my family to accept me.
I want to be myself and not be fake.
I want to be able to tell my mom,
I need help.
I need someone to help me,
because I don't know what else to do.
I am not sure, but I might need meds.
I want the strength to tell my mom,
and the courage to be honest.
I just want to be happy, again!!
But I will never be able to do these things,
they are just things I want.