Eternal sleep

Powerful. I would suggest setting it up like this:

Wide awake eyes open but thats only 4 my outside presence,
Smiles grinding my teeth keeping the outside trying to look in guessing.
Make believing I'm happy when I'm not .
Leaving my being open for constant questioning.

Down playing;the the obvious but only
visible to the human mind if you magnify your thought process,
Poking repetitiously at my brain trying to see what I'm about, thats typical of course.
Trying to answer me, read me like an open book.
Then you think you know me,but you don't know nearly enough.

1 to 75 heartbeats per minute picking at my soul and my head is constantly in a rush,
Heart cold as ice with a warm embrace embedded wit it, only I choose to keep it untouched.
As the windows of my being and my life fades away like an mirage in front of my eyes,
My life is no more and my skin turns Atlantic, eyes looks in far distance and is dark as night.
Only then when you see me for who I am the kid who fought for what he believed in spite of obstacles domino affects hit him like a ton of bricks,
Who hurdled every one broken bones in the process metaphorically speaking of course.

Only then will you appreciate the person I was during my days,
For no one likes to hear your feelings and your inner thoughts when they are positive and have a message.
Words slurring out of my mouth, it seems like every day was a session.
So when I no longer can speak ,when my vocal cords deteriorate and I no longer have a pulse or an internal heartbeat,
Read my works as I lay peacefully in my eternal sleep.

Excellent job though. It puors with emotion.

Good poem, very expressive of life and stuff like that

LUV LJ

its good

its hot