Sorts of poop(not a poem, but funny)

THE WET POOP--You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and on underwear so you dont ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

THE SECOND WAVE P00P--This p00p happens when youve finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poop some more.

THE BRAIN HAEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE P00P--Also known as \"Pop a Vein in your Forehead P00p". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

THE LINCOLN LOG P00P--The kind of poop that\'s so enormous you\'re afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER P00P--The kind of p00p you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It\'s most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD P00P" P00P---The kind where you want to p00p, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

THE LIQUID P00P--That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender p00p-chute.

THE MOOD ENHANCER--This p00p occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

THE RITUAL--This p00p occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

THE AFTERSHOCK P00P--This p00p has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.

THE GROANER--A p00p so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

THE FLOATER--Characterized by its floatability, this p00p has been known to resurface after many flushings.

THE RANGER--A p00p which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

THE PHANTOM P00P--This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

THE BOMBSHELL--A p00p that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to p00p (i.e.. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near p00ping facilities.

THE SNAKE CHARMER--A long skinny p00p which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.

THE BACK-TO-NATURE P00P--This poop may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

THE PEBBLES-FROM-HEAVEN P00P--An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually CAN\\\'T p00p.

SHITZOPHERENIA--Fear of pooping - can be fatal!

THE POWER DUMP P00P--The kind that comes out so fast,
you barely get your pants down when you\'re done.

THE LIQUID PLUMBER P00P--This kind of p00p is so big it plugs up the toilet
and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice
from the Lincoln Log P00p.)

THE PORRIDGE P00P--The type that comes out like toothpaste,
and just keeps on coming. You have two choices:
(a) flush and keep gong, or
(b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

THE \"I THINK I\'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY\" P00P--When you drop lots of cute,
little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they
hit the water.

THE \"WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?\" P00P--Also sometimes referred to as
The Toxic Dump. Of course you don\'t warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom
odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they
run out gagging and gasping for air.

THE \"I JUST KNOW THERE\'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE\" P00P--Where
you just sit there patiently and
wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now,
it\'s going to smear all over the place.