When will it be gone?

Good or bad
happy or sad
i live my life
wishing i had a knife
memories so dark
as i leave the park
to my room i go
no one has to know
the pain i have inside
i sit in my room and cry
my dark shadows
my only friends
only my heart knows
how much i wish to die
take my beauty from her sheath
into my arm she gos
crimson red puddles on my bed
inside its mass i lay
until i wake
i wish to know
when will this hurt be gone