When I told you that I loved you lastnight
that was my soul speaking a little too loud
for the past two months I have been hiding in the darkness about how I felt
why did I have to do it when I was drunk
I wish I were sober when I laid down the cards
I told you all
that I loved you that I missed you
told you that I lost our baby on my birthday
I hated it when you said I don't love you anymore
and it hurt so much
because all I wanted to do was hold you close to me
but again you pushed me away
there were days like this that I wish you would just pick up your phone
and say babe come over I miss you
I am sorry I didn't mean what I said!
It hurts to be in love like this
not being able to tell you my hopes and dreams
it hurts that you don't even care
and do you even know what you feel about me
I don't think so
I hate you for not being honest
not being able to forgive me
that is why I told you
that you never loved me
because you couldn't find it in your heart to forgive me
why is it like this
we were so in love
and I pray to god every night
does he hear me I don't know
but I still pray loudly
and sometimes I even cry myself to sleep
just wondering about you and what you are doing
I miss you so much
and there are days when I don't even want to go anywhere
see anyone
I do this so I don't have to see your face
and every where I go memories of the times we shared haunt me
so I stay home everyday trying to forget you
and when I do forget
my soul screams your name -----
what should I do lord
all I know is that I have to let him go
and this I know
because he never really loved me so!
