There is something I have to tell someone. No one knows everyday I put a smile on,but they don't really know what going on. I would try to tell a friend but they wont understand. Theres so much pain and sadness and so little happiness. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy for a long time. Sometimes it seams like I'm up and then its back down. Someone tells me that they care about me and everything but right now I don't see how anyone could. Just because of how I am. I don't know what I want so I just mess with the guys. I wish it was so much easier. There is one person that cares a lot about me and I care a lot about him but I don't know if I love him. I know I'm young and I'm shy also I'm going to have lots of relationships. I guess I want to be loved and be able to say how I feel I want to be wanted and to be there for someone that would be there for me when I need them. Something I never thought, I would love him like I thought maybe and I got scared. Everything seams better just by hearing from him.. Now I know what I want and needed.. The thing is that I need you and i want you in my life..
