My Suicidal Tool

It's down to this
My strength is gone
Ive lost my faith
I cant hold on

The pills they seem to weak
To ever end this pain
So in my hand i hold the bottle
And dump it down the drain

The gun although successful
Seems to be to fast
Although it will end the suffering
I want the pain to last

I want to feel all i deserve
To cry until my eyes run dry
To feel the sering endless pain
Until a second before i die

And so i turn to my one last hope
The shinning bloodless knife
The one that sits so carelessly
The one to end my life

I pick it up, so gentle
Hold it shinning in my palm
The bring it to a point on my wrist
Ignoring the voice that screams this is wrong

I'm sorry mom and dad
But i cant face this day
Being held to such expectation
To be perfect in every way

I take the knife and rip it
From left to right it sears
I scream in silent agony
Hold back the salty tears

The next cut is twice as deep
And screaming twice as loud
But no one to hear, I'm all alone
So glad that no ones around

Now my arm is numbing
As i slowly unclench my fist
Knowing the end will soon be near
I start slashing at my wrist

The blood comes pouring out
Uncontrollable, I start to cry
Another cut i can see the bone
Maybe i don't want to die

Then i think of all the pain
The hate that fills my life
Anger floods my tired eyes
And again i clutch the knife

Ripping through my wrist again
I'm starting to get dizzy
The rooms is slowly spinning
Theres no one left the miss me

Slicing at my life
I'm slipping to the floor
My blood is cold and wet
Its seeping through the door

My eyes are slowly shutting
The pain is almost gone
I wish i could have lived my life
I wish i would have been strong

One more cut will do it
End this pitiful life
And so with shaky hands
I hold the blood drenched knife

My wrist is ripped apart
It's the last thing that i see
Bloody and torn it stands as a symbol
Of a person i could never be

Lying on the ground and soaked with blood
I whisper my good-byes
My suicide tool clatters to the floor
As i bravely close my eyes.