My Sucide Note (1)

If you knew me you wont be shocked at what you have found. If you decided not to listen to me, or you ignored me, then this is probably news to you.

I hated life and everything about it. I felt empty and unloved. My mother doesn't listen when I say things, and my father isn't around... I feel like I can't measure up to my sister's who have proven to be my parents favorites.

I hate myself for how I look, the grades I get. I blame myself for every fight I have, and everything that goes wrong. I have no self esteem, and I'm surprised that I lasted as long as I did.

I lied when I said there were no problems at home, I lied when I said I was okay, I lied when I had a smile on my face. I lied, okay!?!?

Yes me, the one who always has nothing to say. The one who hides in the corners and doesn't get pictures taken of herself. The one who would rather hide than be seen, the one who "never does anything wrong"

I guess now you all know that I felt empty and alone, despite the fact that I had loving friends who would have probably done anything in the world to stop me from doing what I have done now.

I don't think there was help for me. I think this was something I had to solve on my own, and I didn't know how. I am denied help, and so this is how I end it all. This is how I solve things. I end them.

Good bye to all of you. I would say I loved you all, but I'm not quite sure I really know what love feels like...