Supposed to die tonight

I cant shake it off, I cant even cry, I cant really do this,
I think I know why.
I put the gun down and walk through the door
I cant do this, cant take anymore.
The only thing stopping me from pulling that trigger,
was his face
I needed something quicker.
Came across something that wouldn't let me down,
Mysterious pills is what I had found.
Few moments later they begin to take effect,
Didn't care how many I had or were left.
Mind went blank, cant remeber much more, but I know that he found me there on the floor.
He sat me up in the hospital bed, I didn't care for anything he said,
I looked straight in his eyes all I could see was pain and misery
This is how I didn\'t want it to be.
He asks me what is wrong with my arm he is on about those lines
Truth is, its scars of how he hurt me and how many times.
He looks down towards the floor, I can tell that he's crying, my arms really soar.
I think its the time he knew the truth..... I am sorry but I am broken and am beyond any kind of repair,
I clench his hand real tight and tell him theres no need to feel scared.
I promise to give up the knife because I want the best for you, beacuse you always seem to look up to me and follow the stupid things that I do.
He asks me where it is,
At home in the drawer,
he tries to force a smile but fails, and we say no more.
My boyfriend saved me from that overdose, which I think wasn't right, I would been happier gone, I was supposed to die tonight.