Holding on to hope..

I hate this pain i feel
i hate not being happy
i hate pretending and putting on that fake smile
i hate the way i look and the way i talk
i hate everything about me
so why am i here?
why do i deserve this?
is there a reason I'm still here?
a purpose? anything?
i don't want to be here
but I'm strong
and i hold on to hope
hope that things will be okay
hope that things will get better
hope that one day ill find you
and ill be happy
but I'm thinking that will never happen
but yet I'm still here
holding on to that last string of hope..