I want to be ok

There are good& bad days in my life
But than there are days where all I can do is lay in my room
&&think
Thinking can hurt a person more than anything eles in this world
I think of the person whom I\'m totally in love with
I think of people i hurt
I think of how i have once again made myself so lonely
I pushed everyone out of my life who really cared about me
I hurt the person I cared about the person
i became nothing in this persons eyes
I miss this person so much
I have grown so tired of feeling so empty
I want to give up on everything
There is one person who wont let me
This person is the only one I feel that really cares about me
This person I will soon let down
When I finally become so numb
I forget to breathe
And drift away
I know this wont happen
For I don\'t have enough guts
and that disappoints myself
Wanting to let go but to chicken
hurts soo badly
I know if i took my own life
everything..
would..
finally..
be..
ok..