Siren of My Dreams!!!

by Robert Gardiner   Sep 26, 2005

This is a poem I wrote to illustrate repetition and how it could be used in poetry. I wrote, constructed, and structured it, on the fly. I feel
I've created a quality poem, but you can be your own judge. Tell me what you think of my poetic attempt at repetition?

Siren of My Dreams

I saw her today - within my minds eye.
A memory, from last nights dream.
I saw her, floating, from clouds on high.
But alas, her, I could not reach.

I saw her today - with smile beaming,
Melting, my heart's catacombs.
Like a river, her beauty, streaming.
Reached out for her, to discover, I was, alone.

I saw her today, beckoning me, to follow,
Offering, pleasures, that I could only dream of.
But -- as in her ecstasy, I began, to wallow,
Morning came again, and I woke up.

I saw her, today, only, alas, to have her, leave me.
But soon, I know, we shall meet again, as I lay me down, to sleep!!!

Robert Gardiner

As always, your comments and votes greatly appreciated, thank you!!!


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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by yogi73

    That was a really nice read. great poem

  • 14 years ago

    by Drew Gold

    I liked it a lot and thought the repetition was pretty effective.. nice flow to it.. from a lot of your works, i see you use commas a lot to augment flow.. to me it is a kind of distraction on first-read, but it does direct the flow.. probably just your style but yea.. the last line of the first stanza seems a bit weird.. you changed the syntax to help the flow, and it worked well, but it just seems a bit awkward where you placed 'her'.. all in all an awesome poem and good use of the technique.. later

  • 14 years ago

    by Serena

    Great job! I really loved this poem! You've got alot of talent...keep it up! Feel Free to check out my poems if you get the chance! :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Ann Stareyes

    You're blessed with talent that is a pleasure to read. great job....

    hugs, love, Ann

  • 14 years ago

    by gabs

    Excellent 5/5!! Like Always I Love Reading Your Work Keep Writing And I Will Deffinitly Keep Commenting!!!