Overdose Part 1

Sat in my room
Holding those pills,
A big full bottle,
The best thing to kill.

I think about my life,
Bout the people I'll leave,
So this my price
For wearing my heart on my sleeve.

My mind and soul trapped
In an eternal cage,
Tears spring from my eyes
And fall to this page.

My poems, my writing,
My soul upon paper,
The only way to keep my happy smile
And carry on being a faker.

No one else is here,
So I'm here all alone,
No one would even know
Until they came home.

I plan it all out,
Let it take form in my mind,
When would be best
To leave them all behind.

How many should I take?
How many would I need?
How many will it take?
To stop this evil seed?

Somehow they're in my hand,
Waiting to be inside,
Waiting to be taken,
To help me run and hide.

But do I really want to kill myself?
Or just make it all stop?
Should I just make it a cry for help?
Or just be through with the whole lot?

Too late to decide,
They've gone down my throat.
Sitting there in my stomach,
How long before I begin to float?

How long before I begin to die?
Or simply just asleep?
Were they strong enough?
Or were they too weak?

We'll just have to see what happens,
See how it ends or begins,
Have to see whether it's me, who'll lose,
Or whether it's the world who wins.

I'll wait here till it happens,
I'll never move from this spot,
I'll wait here till I fall down,
How much more time have I got?

© copyright of Holly Nia Goodson