I need him

Tears stream from my eyes
i can't stop thinking of him
he's everything i want
yet everything i can't have.
i tell myself lies
to make it all go away
i can't take this pain
yet i have to go through it everyday.

i transfer my thoughts to the cuts on my wrist
it's the only thing that gets me through this
i close my eyes and he's always there
he's my everything, my everywhere
i want him so bad
i cry myself to sleep
i cry myself awake
he's embedded in my heart, so deep.

just a little red speck
drowned in perpetual heartache and loss
shadows of black
a shudder of hope in the midst of the night.
keep me breathing, give me anything
a word of love or even just a drug
a whisper of forgiveness
a kiss or even just a hug.

i need him.